WWJP? What would Jesus play?

I wonder what games Jesus would play..

Would he play flash-based games on the Wii?
Would he swap friend codes with me?
Does he play Halo and pwn teh n00bz?
Or play Dead or Alive just for the boobs?

I doubt he would play The Suffering, or Dead to Rights, or Fugitive Hunter..
He may play on the PC and install some kind of punter..
He could play Warhawk or Ace Combat, but he can already fly,
He's omnipotent, he doesn't even need to try.

He could play some RPG and resurrect from the dead,
It's been done before, at least it's been said.
Playing 25 to Life would be way too beneath him,
But there's a chance he would like some kind of Sim..

I don't know, but he's a powerful figure and all,
I'm quite positive, however, he still plays pinball.
No tilting or pushing, he's a magnetic type,
The ball he controls, he confided on skype!

The consoles are nice, but I think he would say,
"LOL teh n00bz play these games too much, I would pwn all rofl."
... nah, I'm just kidding.

Rough Image, sans color

Now all that is left to do, is to straighten out the seams and add some color to the thing!

The Pencil Bunch

Red Ring of Death, Part 2

Shmup me a Shmup: The XBLA Shoot'emups!

Taking a look at XBLA, there are a fair amount of shmups in the classic sense and in a related sense. Breaking it down on what's currently on the MaxShrek console:

Aegis Wing - Free download created by interns. Decent game, a little sparse in relation to the weapons and enemies. Graphics are decent, music is a bit ostentatious(a big word!).




Assault Heroes - not a shmup in the classic sense, this one plays like Ikari Warriors or Commando, but it the scrolling can stop if your player stops on the screen. Most shmups will keep it scrolling, aka Lifeforce, Gradius/Salamandar. A fun game, obviously one of those games made more for an HD set-up, but it is still very playable in SDTV.



Galaga - the Stationary Shmup.. Plays like Space Invaders, but ads dropping attack enemies, a more colorful palette, and the olde-tymee game noises consisting of bips, boops, and bleeps.. peppered with explosions. Your ship can upgrade to get your ships linked together, allowing you to fire multiple shots at the enemies, and losing your turn after 2 hits instead of 1. Definitely a classic!



Gyruss - or Galaga Tubes. Similar enemies attack you in waves as you circle the radius of the screen with your ship. You get 1 gun upgrade in the game, from 1 shot to 2, just like Galaga. The music is hauntingly cool for a videogame, J.S. Bach's "Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor". Play the demo, stay for the game!



Ikaruga - difficulty epitomized. Awesome game! Traditional scrolling shmup, your ship can change polarity (at your call) to absorb shots from defeated enemies and matching-polarity firing enemies. I haven't seen beyond level 3's mid-section, but this one is a must, DRM problems be damned! Nice variety of enemies adds to the insanity of it all. The big downer for many gamers will be the difficulty level. Adjustable, but adjusting settings will not save your high scores. Scores. Yep. The goal is high scores!




Omega Five - flying people shmup? I haven't unlocked any other characters other than the defaults, but this game looks absolutely awesome for an XBLA title. The characters are a bit too big, but you get over it after awhile (see: get used to it, bitches!) The music is awesome, the graphics are aces, the gameplay is tight. The game is, a little short. Give me more. Omega Six, anyone?



Scramble - the Godfather? This along with Super Cobra gave way to Gradius/Salamandar, bringing in what we know are shumps (classic). This one has a steady speed to your ship, flowing through 5 stages of mostly missiles fired vertically and flying horizontal enemies. Pretty dull, but challenging at the same time. You have standard gunfire for downing airborne enemies and some ground-based enemies, and bombs, for getting rid of ground based enemies. The bombs also are needed to bomb fuel towers to refuel your ship (if you blow up the fuel, how does it get in your tank?) Great classic, for the hard-core and collectors only, though, I'm afraid.



Triggerheart Exelica - what? The name brings panic. What does it mean? Decent shmup, with the ability to snag enemies and fling them around as a mace-like weapon. The story is goofy, the characters are anime-attractive (the type that anime geeks could be caught draw naked), the sounds are ok. The gameplay is really fun, which is what trumps anything else..



For now, that's what it is. Sometime I'll dig into the MAME shmups (my God.. it's full of shmups.) Now it's time for something completely different.

Halo 3: Return of Sidewinder

Halo: Combat Evolved on the eXBox was a great game, the only drawback was split-screen multiplayer. The best map of the multiplayer offerings was definitely Sidewinder- it was huge, lots of snipe spots and hiding spots, caves, etc.. Now Halo 3 goes one better- Avalanche. This map is based on Sidewinder, adds an awesome new look, wide open spaces, flying vehicles, new transport devices, huge bases, and a giant cliff. The cliff is awesome when somebody tries to jack your ride, and you feel like taking them out with you. Drive right over the cliff!

Just a small peak at Avalanche before Pencil and Einstein head to the blue wall of mirth to have some fun with Halo 3.. (above)

Pop Art

What's New: Ikaruga, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Pencil as Pop-Art

Ikaruga made it's triumphant shmup presence on the XBLA last week, and aside from being incredibly difficult, it certainly is challenging. And fekkin' difficult. At 800 MSpoints, it comes highly recommended!

Rocky and Bullwinkle also made their presence known with the Rocky and Bullwinkle Pinball FX table. At 200 MSpoints (or is it 250 points?), and for hardcore pinballers, this is a good download. Not a must, but it's as close to new pinball as you're going to get for awhile. Unless you pick up the awesome Pinball Hall of Fame: William's Collection, with the following tables on the PlayStation 2:

Pinbot (win!)
Whirlwind (win!)
Black Knight (double win!)
Funhouse (triple win!)
Space Shuttle
Gorgar
Taxi (no Marilyn? so-so)
Firepower

.... for $14.99? $15 for these emulated tables, not on PinMAME but on old reliable PS2? May be time to dive back into the PS2 playfield. However, seeing as how they are emulated, dare I say they would make their way to the beloved XBLA?

We also sent Pencil Shavings through some sort of weird trippy stuff to play with the photo programs the Four Tokens Films guys work with, and will be posting some stuff shortly (definitly shortly..)

Back to the games!

XBox 360 Red Ring of Death, Part 2

What the hell caused this awful scene!!

Spring Updates

After taking most of February March of for offline pursuits and business ventures, time has come to get this ball rolling... for real! First is to get Microsoft Office on Max's PC so he can start editing the official Pencil Shavings website. Juggling stuff is definitly difficult, but reality always trumps online stuff.